My Daughter's Birth Story

Frankie's Birth Story!!

Birth Story Highlights: 

-Non-medicated, vaginal, water birth! 

-Team of midwives made me feel safe 

-My husband was the most amazing labor coach. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my husband, and I wasn’t sure what type of support I was going to want. I always assumed I would want space and to not be touched, but I did not allow Scott to let go of my hand the entire time (expect for the 5 min I allowed him to go to the bathroom lol). He guided my breath, held my hand as a squeezed ridiculously hard, held me up during standing/squatting positions, kept reminding me how amazing I was doing. I remember hearing “You crushed that contraction babe!” more than once!

-My sister in law Megan and my mom were both allowed to be in the room and support me/take pictures videos throughout the day! I was so grateful they could be there, it would not have been the same without them.

-Labor lasted a total of 14 hours and I pushed for 2-3 hours. Baby’s head was stuck…the real pushing lasted about 30 minutes.

-I did not use my birth affirmation cards, or my essential oils, or eat any snacks during labor, or document the entire process on my instagram stories. That shit was not happening.

Here we go...

Saturday (June 27th) I woke up just feeling more uncomfortable than usual. I kinda felt like there was not enough room for baby, all night I felt like I was squishing baby no matter how I arranged all 6 pillows in bed. I took Poncho for a walk and felt kinda nauseous. I decided to listen to my body and relax on the couch. I watched a movie and laid down. I felt a little better after the movie was done, my family was hanging out at my grandparent’s house so I got myself together and drove over to see them. I told them all how this was the first day I was really feeling uncomfortable. I also kept saying I didn’t know what I was going to do for the next 2 weeks since I was ready to go, but I was only going to be 38 weeks the next day. That night, Scott and I had a normal Saturday night of popcorn and Netflix on the couch. I fell asleep during the movie, per usual, but thank goodness because that extra hour of sleep was so dang necessary! Also, so glad I took a shower that night and washed my hair while I was waiting for Scott to get home from work! One thing that happened, that I am convinced set off labor, was Scott sat down on my toe and kind of chipped my toenail, to the point that it needed to be clipped. I asked Scott to try and clip it because bending to reach my toes is impossible. He couldn't get it for whatever reason, so I crunched up in a weird position, squishing the belly, and clipped the nail. 

We went to bed after the movie, it was probably 11:30ish? At 1:20am I woke up to roll over (something that happens about 10 times a night pregnant), when I rolled over I felt some liquid discharge…like I peed a little. So I got up and went to the bathroom. No more liquid leaked out, and it wasn’t pee in my underwear/pj shorts (yes I sniffed it…). So I figured it was just some sort of pregnancy discharge, and unless there was more of it, I wasn’t going to worry about it. But part of me thought my water had broke and just started to leak. I changed my clothes and got back in bed. I told Scott what happened, and he wasn’t alarmed at all, I think all he said was “okay.” So I tried to go back to sleep, but then some cramps started. Felt like period or poop cramps at first. The biggest thing was that they would start and then go away! After a few of those, I woke Scott up again to tell him, and again he said just try to go back to sleep. I knew that wasn’t going to happen so I went to the living room to watch The Office and I started timing these crampy feelings. (I used the app Full Term) They were about 30-40 seconds long and about 4 minutes apart. They weren’t super intense at this point. I was able to breathe and talk a little bit. I could just sit on the couch during them. Over about an hour, they were getting more and more intense, a little longer 40-50 seconds and a little closer 3-4 minutes apart. I woke Scott up and asked him to come out to the couch with me and time these so he could see what I was talking about. At 2am, I called the midwife on call, it was the only midwife I hadn’t met yet (since I was only 38 weeks and I had one more appointment scheduled-with her!). I filled her in and she suggested I take a shower and try to relax a little. I got in the shower and I swear the contractions just got more intense. It was a little tricky to stand in the shower during a contraction. I would lean up against the wall and breathe. I kept timing them as well. They were pretty much 3 minutes apart and 1 minute long. That was the rule my midwife told me for coming in. The 3-1-1 rule, 3 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. After the shower, I told Scott to pack a bag (I had been asking him all week to pack a bag…), and I called the midwife again. It was about 4:30am now. She really thought I was still in early labor. I was so confused because the contractions were so close together and pretty much were close together the entire time. I was getting a little anxious and wanted to know what was going on down there so the midwife said she would meet me but it would take her 35 minutes to get ready and get to the birth center. Scott and I went through the packing list I made, double checked the bags, threw them all in the car and headed over to the birth center. Contractions in the car sucked, but it was a Sunday morning at 5am so luckily there was no traffic, although that didn’t stop Scott from putting on the hazards and running the red lights! I called my mom and my sister in law on our way there, in between contractions. 

We got to the birth center around 5:30am and met with the midwife on call and a midwife student. They tested to see if the liquid that leaked was amniotic fluid or not, and they checked to see how dilated I was and how much my cervix had thinned. It was not amniotic fluid, so my water had not broken. I was 3.5cm dilated and my cervix was 100% thinned. Now she suggested that we go for a walk outside around the neighborhood, I thought she was crazy. I knew that going for a walk was really good for progressing labor, but I had never anticipated going for a walk while feeling so damn uncomfortable. She advised us to try and walk for an hour or so. We went outside, it was beautiful out, but I was barely able to stand during contractions. I was holding on to Scott for dear life, and trying to breathe through them quietly as not to scare the neighbors (the birth center is right in a neighborhood). I had a depends diaper on since I was still leaking all kinds of stuff…I’m not even totally sure what was coming out. We called my dad on the walk in between contractions to let him know that things were starting since he was our Poncho babysitter while at the birth center. After only a few minutes, I really felt like the depends I was wearing was full of liquid and discharge or whatever. So I told Scott we had to go back, and I was just majorly uncomfortable and definitely could not walk around anymore. I wanted privacy in a room, and I kinda wanted a bed to lay in! We made a pit stop in the bathroom so I could change the depends and clean up a little. While in the bathroom I went through a contraction in the stall alone and it felt like the world was ending. When I changed the depends I found out I had lost my mucus plug and it definitely seemed like my water had broken. Also, to be honest (TMI time) I had pooped a little and didn’t even realize it. Scott came into the stall after he realized I was having a contraction and helped me clean up and change, because he is the greatest husband in the world. They let us in a room and I immediately laid down on the bed. Breathing through contractions laying on my side with a peanut ball (basically a huge exercise ball shaped like a peanut) between my legs, and a stainless steel bowl with peppermint essential oil in it in my arms since I kept gagging and thought I was going to throw up for sure. I knew that feeling like you are going to throw up or actually throwing up is a sign of “transition” so I really wasn’t worried at all, if anything this feeling made me excited because it meant it was almost time to push. Everything seemed to be moving pretty quickly! I have no clue what time it was…I have no real timeline as far as how long I stayed in certain positions, or how long contractions lasted. I know at this point I was on the bed working through contractions and my mom and sister in law both arrived! Scott finally got to get all of our stuff out of the car, my sister in law helped and figured out where the camera was and started taking pictures. After a while on the bed, we moved to the tub to work through contractions in there where I could hopefully be a little more comfortable. I believe before getting in the tub, we went to the bathroom to try and go to the bathroom and to clean up (yup, Scott helped me clean up again!). I worked through some contractions on the toilet at this point…which I hated! It was super intense and the pressure was crazy while I was sitting on the toilet. We moved to the tub and it was extremely nice to be in the hot water. I don’t think it made contractions easier per say, but it was definitely so comforting in between contractions. Scott stayed by my side the whole time, holding my hand through every contraction, cueing my breath, reminding me to take a deep breath in whenever I would hold my breath or take fast shallow breaths. He kept me hydrated, by encouraging me to drink and bringing my straw right up to my mouth and saying “sip”—we brought my 20oz yeti and a metal straw and it was clutch. He (and others probably!) made sure it was always full with ice water and electrolytes (I used nuun sport orange and lemon-lime throughout labor). I had zero interest in food, but he fed me fruit snacks throughout labor…one at a time, I probably only ate like 1 bag. Megan took like 500 pictures of the whole experience, wiped sweat from my forehead with a cold wash cloth, as well as coached me through contractions occasionally by giving me the mountain visualization. My mom stayed closed and encouraged me, reminded me I was doing amazing, and also wiped sweat! Everyone kept telling me how amazing I was doing the entire time. How strong I was. I remember Scott frequently saying that “I crushed that contraction.” Thinking back I am pretty sure my eyes were closed like the entire time. Definitely during contractions my eyes were closed. I remember hearing a few jokes every once in a while from those around me or tuning in to some conversations in between contractions. My midwife encouraged me to switch positions every once in a while. I laid on my back in the tub, I squatted in the tub, did like a side lunge in the tub. After a while in the tub, I think I asked if she could check how dilated I was or what was going on because I wasn’t really sure. 

Side-note: when I was in the tub my midwife arrived and I almost cried when she walked in the room, I was so relieved when she got there. Besides her, the other midwife was still there, and two midwife students. So a team of 4 people plus my team of 3! And one midwife student was taking notes or something on an iPad whenever she was in the room, the other was checking baby’s heartbeat occasionally, and cleaning out the tub while I was in there—she used a fish tank net and was scooping out whatever was coming out of me…I really don’t know if it was birth stuff or poop stuff lol it was just little floaties. My midwife also checked baby’s heartbeat occasionally, sometimes during a contraction, or before or after. Baby’s heartbeat was strong the entire time. I didn’t have any constant monitoring, the midwife team would often leave the room and it would just be us, or only my midwife would stay. Also, they never checked my cervix unless I asked them to.

Okay, so I had asked my midwife to investigate down there and see what was going on. I got out of the tub and onto the bed to check, and when she did the baby’s head was very close. It just seemed to be a little stuck behind my pubic bone. She put her fingers in (with my permission), to sort of help the baby move down a little further while I pushed during a contraction. I could feel and see the baby’s head in a mirror. We did a few contractions/pushing on the bed and I felt like I was making a ton of progress. Basically, it seemed like go time. I was encouraged to get back in the tub to push if I wanted a water birth, again we made a pit stop in the bathroom to make sure I was all clean before the tub and to make sure I didn’t need to go to the bathroom. While we were in there my midwife again encouraged a few pushes while on the toilet to help baby’s head move even closer. We used a squatty potty and it was way way intense. I begged to get off. We finally made it back to the tub and I was pushing during contractions but now it seemed like I wasn’t making any progress or getting anywhere. The whole team of midwives offered us some space and told me to breathe through contractions if I wanted instead of pushing. This is where things got a little confusing to me. I wasn’t sure if I should push or not push. Sometimes I could breathe through a contraction, other times I had to bear down/push. So I pushed for a while. Hoping I was making progress. Every push was exhausting. I was so tired I was falling asleep during contractions in the tub, while Scott was holding my hand of course! This was about the time when I was started to think I couldn’t do this. It felt like there was no way I was going to be able to get this baby out on my own. I felt like every contraction was impossible. I am so grateful for my team constantly reminding me that I was doing everything right and that I could do it, and just to breathe.

At some point, my midwife came back in the room and I asked her to check me and see what was going on and help me make some more progress. We got out of the tub and back on the bed. My midwife checked my progress and baby’s head was right there! She again helped me through a few contractions and tried to guide baby’s head through my pubic bone where is was getting a little stuck. We made a ton of progress after a few contractions and really pushing down where I needed to, the most exhausting pushes ever. My midwife team grabbed a mirror and showed me the progress and told me it was really time to meet this baby. So I had a choice, I could either stay on the bed where I was and push here and give birth on the bed. Or, I could move to the tub and give birth in the water. I felt like I had made so much progress on the bed, and last time when I got in the tub I felt like I lost all the progress I made. I was so nervous. But, one of the main reasons I chose Authentic Birth Center, was so I could have a water birth. I thought about what I wanted to do for a few minutes (maybe seconds, I have no idea), and all of a sudden I was like “get me up and get me in that tub!” I don’t know if it was adrenaline or what, but I felt like I got up quick and basically ran to the tub. (This is probably not really what happened, but that’s how it felt, since I was so scared of having a contraction in between the bed and the tub…which was like 6 feet apart lol). We got all situated in the tub. It was go time. I was begging to meet this baby. I remember saying in tears “I just want to meet this baby already” and something along the lines of “let’s fucking go.” My baby playlist had been playing for like the 100th time, I was surrounded by my team, and I was fucking ready to get this baby out. I felt my whole mentality completely change. I suddenly felt like “I can do this, I am going to do this right now, I am so ready.” So, every contraction I pushed as hard as I absolutely could and sent all my energy down to that baby. Something my midwife kept saying, "send your energy down to your baby” during contractions, and “stay open, everything open, relax” in between contractions. 

Baby’s head was coming out. Yup. Everyone could see it, I could feel it (with my hand and my bits!). The pressure was absolutely unreal, I think I kept saying something about “so much pressure!” So, her head would be coming out and then the contraction would fade and I would have to “relax” and try to stay open. But, I had read before that the baby’s head will go out and sort of go back in maybe a few times and that is actually really good for your lady bits/perineum and avoiding tearing. Baby’s head is like stretching you out and warming you up before making the full exit. So it was a tad scary, but I also knew it was right. And the midwives kept reminding me that it was okay and everything was going so well. Finally, I was like so done, I decided to give it my freaking all and not let up. Honestly, when her head was coming out, it was an intense burning feeling. Scott says her head was out for a full break in contractions before I pushed her body out. To me it didn’t feel that long between her head coming out and then the rest of her body. But, once her head was out, the rest was no big deal in comparison. 

She was placed directly on my chest. I looked right into her eyes as soon as she was born. I rubbed her back and felt a wave of pride. I was so proud of myself for doing it, for making it to the finish line, for bringing her here safely. I also just felt that overwhelming love of meeting this tiny human that you feel like you already know so well. Feeling like life is complete. But, I didn’t know she was a girl yet! I don’t know how many seconds or minutes went by before my midwife looked at us and said, “well are you going to check if they are a boy or a girl?!” They lifted her leg, and Scott looked and of course she looked swollen and there was an umbilical cord between her legs and it was dark…and Scott said, “it’s a boy!” and my first thought was “well, of course it is, everyone told me it was a boy, so it's a boy!” then, our midwife said “ummm check again…” and Scott goes, wait no, “we have a daughter!” and I started full on ugly crying. We have a daughter. I have a daughter. And then I celebrated by announcing her name “my sweet Frankie Mae” then I told her how I knew the whole time and nobody believed me! She was very vocal also, and I remember looking at one of the midwives and asking “is she okay, is everything good?” and they assured me that she was completely healthy, while they were checking her with their stethoscope, and I’m not even sure what else, I think they took her temperature too. We delayed cord clamping and cutting until the cord was done pulsing. We got to feel it when it was pulsing and then when it was done. Scott cut the cord, and then a little while later I delivered the placenta with the help of the midwives pushing on my abdomen and guiding the placenta out. They then pushed a bunch of other stuff out (blood and clots), to make sure everything was out! All of that was honestly pretty uncomfortable…nowhere near as painful as birth but still painful and required some pushing. Then it was time for me to get out of the tub, Frankie was passed to Scott for more skin to skin time and I was helped out of the tub and to the bathroom to get all cleaned up and set up in my new diaper and my robe! I finally made my way to the bed (all of this was with help, there is no way I could walk by myself, and before I was allowed to stand up out of the tub I had my pulse/temperature/blood pressure checked. My blood pressure was a little low and my pulse was pretty high, so I had to chill for a while, drink some juice, eat some chocolate, drink water before getting out to avoid passing out!). Once in the bed, our “golden hour” started where we did all skin to skin and I got to start breastfeeding. The midwives came back after the hour to weigh her and measure her, take footprints, and just check her over. Then we got to snuggle for the next 24 hours! We had an on call person that stayed overnight with us in the birth center, she was a doula and lactation consultant, she got me fresh ice pads and magnesium stool softener lol! She also made me an herbal bath the next day that I got to relax in and took Frankie in with me and kept her on my chest. It was really magical to go back in that tub to just relax with Frankie on my chest instead of working on pushing her out! At 24 hours, the midwife team came in and did the newborn screener and heel poke and checked me out to make sure the healing process was off to a good start. And then we got to pack up and head home! I loved every minute at the birth center, but I was so looking forward to getting home and getting comfy.

Overall, Frankie’s birth went pretty much according to plan. I was very happy with how well it went and that I felt so safe and supported through the whole thing. So happy that she was born vaginally without any type of medication and in the water. Grateful that we had skin to skin and breastfeeding right away. 

Also, I feel like I have to say it, I underestimated the intensity of contractions and child birth. It was absolutely the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, but I did it. I brought my child into the world without pain meds. But, I know that if we were in a hospital setting where pain meds would have been available, I would have asked for them. 100%. I completely understand why anyone would request and take any type of pain medication/epidural/etc. I am grateful that I was in a setting that had lots of options and guidance for different positions and the tub. I am grateful that I was in a setting where there was no pain meds available. It wasn’t an option. I had to prove to myself that I could do it, and I am glad I was able to.